Unbelievable Old Newspaper Ads That Show Just How Times Have Changed

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John Summers • Contributor
Apr 10, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

Step back in time with this collection of unbelievable old newspaper ads that would never fly in today's world. From promoting DDT as beneficial to suggesting that a fifth pint of beer is fine for driving, these advertisements reflect a very different era with norms and values that would certainly raise eyebrows today. We've curated a selection of these astonishing ads, including gems like "Eat sugar to lose weight" and "A sun lamp for your baby," that will leave you both amused and bewildered.

As you explore these relics from the past, you'll get a glimpse into a world where advertising standards and societal norms were dramatically different from what we know today. Each ad serves as a reminder of how far we've come in terms of consumer protection, health awareness, and ethical advertising. So, prepare to be transported to a bygone era where the absurd was commonplace, and join us on a journey through the most unbelievable old newspaper ads that would never make it to print in our modern times.

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  • 01

    Just eat butter with a fork!

    BUTTER GOOD AND GOOD FOR YOU YOUR NUTRITION TIP: BUTTER IS SLIPPERY. THAT'S WHY WE EAT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO LUBRICATE OUR ARTERIES AND VEINS.
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  • 02

    Oh dear god!

    NO NO DIET-NO BATHS NO EXERCISE! FAT the ENEMY that is shortening Your Life BANISHED! CASWELLS HOW? with SANITIZED TAPE WORMS Jar Packed FRIENDS FOR FAIR FOIM Easy To Swallow No Ill Effects oct, O PARTICILA SALED FREE
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  • 03

    So healthy, Even your doctor smokes 'em!

    MILDER CHESTERFIELD IS BEST FOR ME!" How NOW...Scientific Evidence on Effects of Smoking! Ay nation of grwp of people First and Only Premium Quality After the medical specialist port adverse effects on the nose, threat and sies of the group from smoking Chesterfield MUCH MILDER CHESTERFIELD IS BEST FOR YOU Cigarette in Both Regular and King-Size Chesterfield Questerfield According to a recent Nationwide survey MORE DOCTORS SMOKE CAMELS THAN ANY OTHER CIGARETTE C The The and off CAMEL CARETTES Yo
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  • 04

    Sure, what could go wrong?

    Burn old flashlight batteries in the fireplace now and then. The burning zinc may help prevent soot formation, and the metals and chemicals make colorful flames.
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  • 05

    Nobody likes a stinky wife!

    That Other You Could End Your Marriage! OOH! DOMESTIC CRISIS! Sue was furious at Tom for the way he'd been treating her. But she was really to blame! She should have known better, for she was no stranger to feminine hygiene. It was just that she had become neglectful! Her doc tor straightened her out. "It's foolish to risk your marriage happiness by being careless about feminine hy giene-even once!" he said. Then he advised her to use Lysel disinfectant for douching-always Let your husband keep
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  • 06

    7Up in milk?!

    17Up Why we have the youngest customers in the business Nothing does it like Seven-Up! a little TRICK that makes a TREAT SEVEN-UP IN MILK! Mix chilled 7-Up and cold milk in equal parts, by pouring the 7-Up gently into the milk. Do not stir. The 7-Up adds a light and delicate flavor making a deli- cious blended food drink. Mothers know that this is a wholesome combination. The addition of 7-Up gives milk a new flavor appeal that especially pleases children. "FRESH UP" WITH SEVEN-UP!
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  • 07

    Technically not a horrible Idea

    USE CAR'S EXHAUST TO CLEAN CUSHIONS With the car's engine idling, gas from the ex- haust creates a vacuum that cleans the cushions USING the exhaust gas of the automo- bile to clean the up- holstery is the ac- complishment of a recently invented de- vice. An aluminum attachment is fast- ened to the exhaust pipe and the engine is allowed to idle. As the exhaust gas passes through this device suction is created at the inlet hole. Collected by a nozzle, the dust and dirt are drawn through the hose
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    The exhaust is just used to create a vacuum in the hose so it's actually pretty safe

  • 08

    DDT, Fun for the whole family!

    I is good for me-e-e!") The The great expectations held for DDT have been realized. During 1916. exhaustive scientific tests have shown that, when properly used, DDT kills a host of destructive insect pests, and is a benefactor of all humanity. Pennsalt produces DDT and its prod ucts in all standard forms and is now one of the country's largest producers of this amazing insecticide. Today, everyone can enjoy added comfort, health and safety through the insect- killing powers of Pennsalt DDT prod
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  • 09

    For pep and Vigor!

    For PEPand VIGOR- VITAMIN ADONUTS New Way TO GET MORE GOOD FROM VITAMINS Take them in fortified food-the delicious Ovaltine way! Each Donut Fortified with a minimum of 25 units of Vitamin B1 2 GLASSES OF OVALTINE
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  • 10

    How about 0?

    DRIVING? 3 5 4 Don't have that fifth pint! H.M.G. HEALTH COMMISSION 1972
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  • 11

    This makes absolutely no sense!

    Diet hint: Diet device: Have a soft drink before your main meal. Sugar just might be the willpower you need to curb your appetite. Snack on some candy about an hour before lunch. Sugar's quick energy can be the willpower you need to eat less. Sogar Information The Sugar Information
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  • 12

    FARMING with DYNAMITE

    FARMING with DYNAMITE A few hints to FARMERS OU PONT ESTABLISHED 1802
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  • 13

    Ain't no party like a lead party!

    THE DUTCH BOY'S LEAD PARTY THE LEAD FAMILY A Paint Book for Girls and Boys With which is bound. COLOR HARMONY IN THE HOME A Booklet for the Grown-ups
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  • 14

    Won't it make it worse?

    FOR REAL MORNING AFTER RELIEF. DRINK A PLUTO** HIGHBALL!
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    In case you're wondering, Pluto Water was a trademark for a strongly laxative natural water

  • 15

    Want to lose weight? Eat peanut butter sandwiches!

    WEIGHT LOSS SECRET REVEALED! Results not typical. Your actual weight loss may vary. Consult your physician if you have concerns. Mrs. Clark S. Shankston of Liberty, California has discovered the secret weight loss method that many American women now swear by! The Jif Diet "For 8 weeks, I ate 3 peanut butter sandwiches on white bread with 3 large glasses of whole milk at every meal. I am now down to my high school dress size and feel just GREAT!" - Mrs. Clark S. Shankston Liberty, Califronia. STO
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  • 16

    TV! It's good for children!

    37 DAILY NEWS. TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1950 HOW TELEVISION OWN A Motorola AND YOU KNOW YOU OWN THE BEST BENEFITS YOUR CHILDREN Motorola, leader in television, shows how TV can mean better behavior at home and better marks in school! Gets homework done-promptly! The simple rule "Homework Ast-television coed has solved the probdies is thousands of home ... has made children more interested in school work. "Television" ways the New York Times, "can be enjoyed in healthy moderation in the same way as
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  • 17

    More than 555% your recommended calorie intake

    More than 55% of your daily protein needs And a higher level of many vitamins and minerals than the average Australian meal. McDonald's McDonald's Keeping you and your children in good health makes good sense...and good business. And we think our food is as good for you as it is good to eat. We're not suggesting, of course, that a meal at McDonald's gives you all the nutrients you need. But it is true that a meal of a BIG MAC a McDonald's strawberry milk Shake and a (regular) serving of French F
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  • 18

    You can smoke every minute in the day!

    DONT YOU WISH YOU COULD SMOKE ALL THE TIME? WHY NOT! HERE IS A PIPE YOU CAN SMOKE EVERY MINUTE IN THE DAY WITHOUT THE LEAST A INJURY FROM NICOTINE. HUNDREDS IN USE IN THE U.S. THE ONLY PIPE OF THE KIND IN THE WORLD ABSOLUTELY NO NICOTINE NO INJURY No BAD BREATH NO NERVOUSNESS A COOL DELIGHTFUL SMOKE SEND FOR GIRCULAR AND INVESTIGATE WILL ONLY COST YOU A POSTAL CARD. ADDRESSED TO PUT THIS IN YOUR POCKET. PAT. MAR 6.1894. No WATER IN IT. BOX-61-F. RYERSON D.GATES. OAK PARK, ILL.
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  • 19

    Excuse me?!

    FAT GIRLS' DIET Tested practical ways to take off fat, rushed by return mail in plain wrapper at special prices. SPECIAL DIET FOR FAT STOMACHS AND THICK WAISTLINES- If it's your stomach and waistline that's both- ering you, here's your diet!. HIGH PROTEIN DIET FOR WOMEN PAST 35- 25¢ Excellent healthful diet for people of ALL AGES! Combines plenty-to-eat with rapid weight loss! Very popular!. 25¢ "SECRETS" TO SPEED REDUCING Important "little things" discovered in 18 years reducing thousands. 2-DA
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  • 20

    Please don't eat it

    10 CENTS TRADE So Pure You can eat it DE SEAL ADUM as KELLY CHESEBROUGH MFG. CO.CO. PETROL LOOK FOR THE TRADE MARK Vaseline White Petroleum Jelly. MARK Apothing dressing for Burns, Minor Cuts, Skin Irritations nations and as an internal lubricant in occasional Constipation bern Frost Bites and Chafing, Internal uses-Colds, Throat CHESEBROUGH MFG. COMPANY. Cons NEW YORK, U.S.A. MADE IN U.S.A
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  • 21

    Tan your baby under pure UV light

    DUPONT Health Tan POLYESTER FILM SUN LAMP CAN'T BURN! SLEEP PATENTED UNDER IT Amazing new sun lamp is absolutely safe- yet gives you a Luxurious Golden Health Tan. DuPont Polyester Film blocks out harmful burning rays-passes only long tanning rays no matter how long you choose to stay under it. Adjust from 7" to 61" in height, 25" arm extends over bed, chair or desk, folds for storage, wonderful for travel. Be Healthy- Stay Brown Th' Year Round. Deluxe Model $29.95-Clamp on Model $19.95. Postage
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  • 22

    So deceitful

    14 VAUGHT'S PRACTICAL CHARACTER READER. DECEITFUL EYE An eye like this will represent a character that is positively deceitful. Why not use your own eyes and not be deceived by such? DECEITFUL MOUTH DECEITFUL CHIN One with a mouth like this can be very agreeable and still have the most selfish ax to grind. Study this chin young ladies and gentlemen and do not depend too much upon the constancy of anyone with a similar chin. A DECEITFUL HEAD Clearly remember this shape and apply it.
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  • 23

    Don't forget to breath it in

    Let this magic mineral, ASBESTOS, protect the buildings on your farm! JOHNS MANVILLE JM PRODUCTS Asbestos! The magic mineral of the Middle Ages. Today, still a "magic" mineral; fireproof, rot-proof, and practically indestructible. When combined with portland cement it is manufactured into products which are especially important on the farm, because they provide permanent protection against fire, weather, and wear. Read this folder. Learn how to put this magic mineral to work on your farm.
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  • 24

    Famous medicated reducing rubber garments

    Reduce Your Flesh in spots- Arms, Legs, Bust Double Chin, etc. N fact, the entire body, IN or any part, can be reduced without dieting by dissolving the fat through per- spiration produced by wearing my garments. Anklets, for re- ducing and shaping the ankles. Send ankle measurement. Per pair $7.00 Extrahigh. 9.00 Brassiere-to reduce bust and diaphragm $7.00 Neck and Chin Reducer 3.50 Send for Illus- Double Chin Reducer 2.50 trated Booklet Dr. JEANNE PH. WALTER FAMOUS MEDICATED REDUCING RUBBER G
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  • 25

    Don't waste time rocking your baby!

    CLOCK MACHINE CLOCK PENDULUM Don't waste time rocking your baby's cradle; let a motor rock it for you. When baby wakes he can watch the wheels go round
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  • 26

    Just soap those years away

    WASH AWAY FAT AND YEARS OF AGE MOCOMI With La-Mar Reducing Soap The new discovery. Results quick and amazing-nothing internal to take. Reduce any part of body desired without affecting other parts. No dieting or exer- cising. Be as slim as you wish. Acts like magic in reducing double chin, abdo- men, ungainly ankles, un- becoming wrists, arms and shoulders, large busts, or any superfluous fat on body. Sold direct to you by mall, post paid, on a money-back guarantee. Price 2/- a cake or three cak
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  • 27

    Terrible Advice!

    For 1940- Be Fit & Slim Overy woman wants to look better, to feel better in the year ahead. Slenderness is the way to health, beauty and fitness. A couple of Bile Beans taken nightly enables you to slim while you sleep- surely and safely. These fine vegetable pills do more than disperse unwanted fat- they purify and enrich the blood, tone up the entire system and make you feel better in health in every way. So start with Bile Beans to-night and make sure of looking and feeling your best in 1940.
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    Bile Beans were a laxative :(

  • 28

    "Take from 1 to 3 inches off your waistline in just 3 days"

    THE FASTEST MOST EFFECTIVE WAISTLINE REDUCER EVER DISCOVERED The Incredible New... SAUNA BELT GUARANTEED TO TAKE FROM 1 TO 3 INCHES OFF YOUR WAISTLINE IN JUST 3 DAYS OR YOUR MONEY REFUNDED SAUNA BELT-the first really new idea in slenderizing in years produces sensationally rapid results in reducing the waistline-for men or women-and without the need for any weight loss. Unbelievable results like these results which speak for themselves: MRS. L. PEREZ "I used the Sauna Belt for about 30 minutes o
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  • 29

    That's a meaty baby!

    My! But meat helps build a husky baby! How Swift's Strained Meats help your baby grow sturdy and strong Look what baby gets in every luscious serving of Swift's Strained Meats! High-quality proteins-your baby needs for growth. Actually, baby needs 3 to 4 times more of these proteins, for his size, than you do! NOTE: Meat proteins are complete, Mother, because they provide all the essential amino YOUR DOCTOR- is best qualified to say how early your baby should start Swift's Strained Meats-ask him
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  • 30

    AKA "The traumatizing album"

    "HOW YOU WERE BORN" RECORD answers your child's natural curiosity intelligently, with- out embarrassment. Highly acclaimed rec- ord, recorded in London by a mother and novelist, explains facts of life to your child, simply, clearly, with warmth and sincerity. Approved by clergy, doctors, psychologists. A must for every child, every family. 7" 33 rpm record. $1.98 ppd. No COD's. Money back guar. Owl Mail Order Co., Dept. W, 281 W. Maley, Willcox, Ariz. 85643.
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  • 31

    So healthy it hurts!

    6 Physical Culture W DO YOU GLOW WITH HEALTH? Build Up Personality, Magnetism, Vitality with VI-REX VIOLET RAYS Some people are dull, drab, uninteresting and sickly! Others are vital, compelling and magnetic! WHICH ARE YOU? It is all a matter of vitality and health. The great- est discovery in years is that of VIOLET RAYS, electricity in a curative, medical form. Violet Rays put new life into over-taxed and sluggish tissues; penetrate and invigorate all the muscles and nerves of the body; give n
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  • 32

    Learn what makes his nose glow

    HIP HIP HOORAY FOR RUDOLPH Rudolph and his glowing nose teach kids an important lesson: radioactivity is nothing to be afraid of!
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  • 33

    Literally radiate

    RADIATE YOUTH & artes BEAUTY radium cream artes ARTES radium cream Obtainable from the Laboratories of: ARTES RADIUM CREAM LTD. Dept. 4, 28 New Bond Street, London, W.1 Phone: MAYfair 2067. and most leading stores. WRITE OR CALL FOR FREE BOOKLET In Artes Radium Cream you have the means for complete rejuvenation of the skin. The active Radium which forms the basis of Artes Cream clears the skin in a magical way, and the complexion grows lighter, smoother and more refined of texture under its stea
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  • 34

    Today this is considered a meme

    If whiskey interferes with your business, give up your business NO USE TRYING TO DO Old Rallable HELL ох EARTH TWO THINGS AT ONCE BRAND
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  • 35

    How?! Tell me!

    How to LOSE WEIGHT and Stay Happy by eating CANDY
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  • 36

    PSA: Don't wrap your baby with Cellophane!

    "The best things in life come in Cellophane" You You see so many good things in Du Pont Cellophane the good things you buy... work stay fresh longer-l They come fresh And Cellophane ke them extraclean DU PONT Cellophane DU PONT Cellophane COUPOND
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  • 37

    This product is 10% Opium!

    SLEEPLESS BABY? USE SLEEP REMEDY Tinetime duburbs Salmarhums: Doser One teaspoonfid er the hours LAUDANUM SEARS. ROEBUCK. ALSO AIDS IN: Pain Releif Yellow fever Cardiac Disease Colds Dysentary Excessive Secretions
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